


Have Mercy on My Soul

by BloodiedRose



Category: Class (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Daemon Touching, Developing Relationship, M/M, Non Consensual Daemon Touching, Season/Series 01 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 11:24:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10359351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodiedRose/pseuds/BloodiedRose
Summary: Matteusz spent a lot of time wondering why Charlie always looked like he was in pain. Turns out, that's what happens when you have to leave your soul at home every day.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, I know that there has been no updates for the Our Choices series, I've been a little bit busy (by which I mean guess who met Billy Boyd!) I will hopefully update soon, depending on my uni schedule and how much I can write around it. Until then, enjoy!

The first thing Matteusz noticed about the new boy, Charlie Smith, was his bright blue eyes. The second thing he noticed was that Charlie always looked like he was in pain. Those eyes were probably only so bright because they always seemed to have a sheen to them. Almost every time Matteusz saw his new classmate the boy had beads of sweat on his forehead. It did not take long for Matteusz to begin feeling pangs of sympathy every time they saw each other, or every time Matteusz found his thoughts drifting to Charlie’s sweet face. And those thoughts drifted often. He had spent more than a few nights left sleepless because he stared at the ceiling and wondered what Charlie was doing right then, how he had smiled at Matteusz for the first time that day, how quiet he spoke in spite of how deep his voice was. 

So Matteusz may have had a crush. And considering that no one else seemed to notice that touching Charlie would make him wince as if you had given him an electric shock, how when Charlie thought that no one was looking he would sway and press a hand to his temples, Matteusz decided his crush was causing him to look at Charlie a bit too closely. It was slightly depressing, considering that Charlie did in fact have friends who probably never wanted to just lean forward and kiss him. They were probably too polite to say anything about Charlie’s perpetual discomfort. That was the reason Matteusz had not, anyway. It was entirely possible that Charlie had a perfectly reasonable explanation for it that did not make Matteusz want to wrap him in a blanket and protect him from the world. Matteusz wanted to do that to Charlie anyway.

There was only a slight hint of guilt when Matteusz accepted the invitation to visit Charlie’s home and he found himself hoping that there would be something that could shed some light on Charlie’s situation. Of course, the slight hint was only because the majority of Matteusz’s brain was busy doing cartwheels at the thought of getting some private time with Charlie. Which was followed by more guilt because Matteusz was fairly certain that Charlie did not like Matteusz in that way. Friends did not spend hours fantasising about what their lips would taste like (Matteusz was leaning towards chocolate, because on some days it was all Charlie would eat. Sometimes though he thought that Charlie would taste like tea). 

Matteusz had not expected Charlie house to look so _Spartan_. It was in a wealthy neighbourhood, and was certainly not a cheap place. He had already known that Charlie was leaning a bit towards the rich side of life. So he could not really understand why he would not spare some of that money towards decoration. Sure, there were things- a fluffy rug on the floor, a clock on the wall, some chairs and a couch. No television (though in the world of laptops that was not too weird). It just looked rather like the type of house you would see in a catalogue. Charlie was not a catalogue type person. There weren’t even any photographs. Charlie seemed to have noticed Matteusz’s confusion and looked quite miserable in response, which was the opposite of what Matteusz wanted. 

“Are we the only one’s home?” Matteusz asked in an attempt for distraction.

“Oh, yes. Qu- My guardian won’t be getting home until quite late tonight. Though she never comes in my room, if you are worried about being disturbed.”

“My parents always get annoyed if I’m too loud. Was wondering if that was still the case.”

“We have thick walls, so you can’t really hear anything. My room is upstairs, hers is down, so it is quite easy to manage. Would you like to see? My room, I mean.”

Matteusz nodded. Charlie led him down a dimly lit hallway which, like the rest of the house so far, had plain white walls and nothing on them. Matteusz wondered if they were renting and there was a certain condition in which they had to keep the place. A plant or two still wouldn’t hurt. Charlie led them upstairs and then pushed open one of the two doors. Even if Matteusz had not been directed there, he would be able to tell which room in the house was Charlie’s instantly. For starters, in spite of the rest of the house being spotless, this room had things strewn everywhere. Matteusz’s mother would have had a heart attack if she had seen. Of course, Charlie did not have a mother to worry about him cleaning up after himself. The desk was just as messy and covered in homework and books lying open to the page Charlie was up to. And then there was the wall. The one wall in the house that was not arctic white. Instead it was covered in stars and galaxies, climbing up from the bed and spreading to the ceiling. It was beautiful, and everything Matteusz expected Charlie’s room to be like.

Charlie walked forward and knelt beside his bed, pulling the covers up so that he could look beneath it. He whispered something, or at least Matteusz thought he did. Then he chuckled and stood up again. Matteusz raised one eyebrow at him. Charlie smiled, beautiful and radiant and making Matteusz’s heart clench.

“Amestra has decided to hide today,” Charlie said. “She can get nervous around strangers.”

“Amestra?”

“My pet… cat?” Charlie said, and Matteusz decided to not point out that usually people did not talk about their pets in the form of a question. Charlie seemed to find Matteusz’s response acceptable, so he smiled wider. “She is very sweet.”

“Is she the cutest cat to have ever existed?” Matteusz asked. He knew that pet owners had a tendency to gush, either about how their pet was the greatest pet or how their pet was a giant doofus. Usually it was both. Charlie just shook his head, and his smile turned sad.

“No. She used to be rather beautiful, but not anymore.” And that was the last time Charlie mentioned her. It was a very pleasant afternoon spent talking about every little thing that they could think of while lying on Charlie’s made of clouds bed. It probably was not made of actual clouds, but it felt like it, and unlike Matteusz’s own bed it was actually long enough to fit him. Part way through their time Charlie reached out and touched the back of Matteusz’s hand. It was the lightest of touches, but this time Matteusz felt like he had been the one given an electric shock. Charlie looked uncertainly at Matteusz, silently asking if it was alright. Matteusz moved his hand so that they were holding hands instead of just touching, and they spent the rest of the evening that way. It was only when Matteusz got a phone call from his mother asking where he was, and they noticed that it had long since gone dark and they were both starving, that Matteusz reluctantly let Charlie go and returned to his home.

Matteusz collapsed into bed, feeling the lingering warmth of Charlie’s hand on his own, and smiled. It seemed like he had a boyfriend. It was then that he realised that not once while they were in Charlie’s home did Charlie look like he was in pain.

\---

“So… you’re an alien?” Matteusz asked. It had been a _long_ evening, what with the invading power rangers villains, murdered classmates, and general revelations. All in all, Matteusz probably should have seen it coming. Sure, Matteusz had found it to be an endearing trait rather than a negative one, but even he had noticed that Charlie was just plain weird. But he never would have genuinely suspected Charlie to be an alien, even though he would have been more than willing to joke about it as their relationship developed. 

“Yes,” Charlie replied. Gone was that authority and power that Charlie had held while fighting off an army. All that remained was a bashful young man who was stuck having a conversation that could change many things with his boyfriend.

“And a Prince?” See, that was the weird part. Because aliens Matteusz could handle. After everything that had happened, there had been plenty of theories that aliens would start actively living amongst humans in secret. There were even internet communities trying to urge aliens to live out in the open in order to get rid of stigma. And Matteusz could definitely see Charlie as a Prince, especially after the way he had held himself that evening. It was hot. The potential self sacrifice and gun shooting was terrifying, but the confidence with which Charlie had done it was… well. But both at once was just a little bit on the bizarre end of the spectrum.

“Yes. Is that alright?” Charlie asked, and that was the crux of the problem. 

“It is part of you. Of course it is alright.” Because it was. It would be hard to wrap his mind around, but Matteusz had not fully yet and he was still completely accepting of it. He could already tell that his emotions for Charlie were coming hard and fast and Matteusz did not want to do anything to stave them off. “Is that why you are always in pain? Is it something about the air on Earth?”

“You noticed that?” Charlie’s voice did not squeak when he said that, except it totally did, and it was utterly adorable. Matteusz nodded. Charlie groaned and rubbed his head again. It was strange how much healthier Charlie looked the closer he got to his home. ”No, it’s not because of the planet itself. It’s… I fear that you have too many of my secrets to cope with today. Perhaps I should tell you at another time.”

“Or you could treat it like a bandaid? Just give me everything at once. I want to know everything about you. If you want me to, that is.”

Charlie sighed and then pulled Matteusz into a kiss. When they moved apart, Charlie took Matteusz’s hand and slowly walked them up Charlie’s footpath. Quill was not home yet, and blimey that was another thing Matteusz would have to get used to. They went upstairs to Charlie’s room and Charlie went to beneath the bed again.

“Amestra, could you come out please? I told him. I told him everything.” Charlie said. Matteusz fumbled with his suit jacket, wondering what surprise was waiting for him. Charlie continued to ask the cat to come out, and very slowly began pulling something from beneath the bed. Something that most definitely was not a cat. It had some fur, but that fur was a soft pink. And it had fins. With tall fox like ears. Honestly, it reminded Matteusz of a pokemon. Of course Charlie had an alien pet. And she was covered, head to toe, in scars. They were bright red and angry, and from the looks of it she was missing a fin.

“My species, we are born with a… companion. A creature that is with us for our entire lives, no matter how long we live. I think that was part of the reason for the war with the Quill. We thought they were barbaric for not having these companions, but I guess… Well, I guess we were the strange ones. Humans do not have them either. _You_ do not have one. And if there is anyone in this universe who is without evil it would be you.” Charlie sighed, and brought Amestra closer to him. She was curled up in his arms in a way that certainly resembled a cat, but she was calmer than any cat Matteusz had ever seen. A droplet of water slid down her fur, and Matteusz realised that it had come from Charlie’s eyes. His voice broke. “Amestra is my soul.”

Matteusz felt his heart stop. On the surface it made sense- a species who had their soul exist external to their bodies would probably be horrified by a species who did not have obvious evidence that their soul existed. Charlie must have been shocked when he arrived on Earth. But then there was the inherent vulnerability in having your soul be outside of you. Matteusz had the desperate urge to cross himself. He was suddenly very glad that his soul was still inside of him. Especially because Charlie looked so ashamed. Her scars looked painful- did Charlie feel the pain of those scars? Or were they because of Charlie? Charlie noticed Matteusz looking, and drew a fingertip down one of the angry red lines. Amestra and Charlie both shuddered.

“You cannot watch everyone you know be slaughtered and come out of it unscathed,” Charlie explained. “No matter what Quill thinks.” Charlie sank onto his bed and buried his face in Amestra’s fur. She was exhibiting signs of distress now. It was likely she was always in some form of distress. Which meant Charlie probably was as well. Matteusz walked forward and knelt down in front of Charlie. He rested his hands on Charlie’s knees, the slightest of touches that Charlie could reject or embrace if he so chose. Charlie sniffed. “We are not meant to be more than a few feet away from each other. The further away we get, the more our bond strains. It… feels like I’m burning alive. That’s why I’m always in pain.”

Matteusz nodded sadly. He had specifically asked for an explanation that would not make it seem like the universe was using Charlie as its personal chew toy. And this was what he got. Matteusz leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Charlie’s forehead. Amestra began to release a sound that was strikingly similar to a purr.

“She likes you,” Charlie said. “Maybe even more than I do.” 

Matteusz wanted to touch her. But there were some things that Matteusz felt would need a certain level of closeness before they could happen, and touching someone else’s _soul_ was probably pretty high up there. So Matteusz touched Charlie instead. 

“You were wrong, you know,” Matteusz said. Charlie frowned at him, hugging Amestra tighter. “She is still extremely beautiful.”

\---

Amestra was much easier to get along with than Quill was. She had never spoken to Matteusz (which in itself had been a shock and a half, finding out that Charlie’s soul could actually _speak_ ), but she was friendly. Frequently he would find her sitting near him, but never touching him. Purring contently while Matteusz did whatever he was doing at the time. Even when he and Charlie argued (never about little things, always about the Big Issues like morality and genocide) she would come up to Matteusz. It was as if it was Charlie’s attempt at an apology. He could not apologise for his world views until he changed them, but Amestra’s presence was the eternal knowledge that Charlie was at least trying. Trying to do what, Matteusz was not sure of, but trying in some way. 

It was only after Dorothea held them at gunpoint and tried to force Charlie to use the cabinet to commit genocide that Matteusz touched Amestra. He found her crying while curled up on top of the cabinet. Charlie had confessed to so many things that scared Matteusz, but he had also proved that he was incapable of committing genocide. Or at least, he was incapable of doing so when the immediate threat was gone. But the experience had shaken Charlie considerably, and though Charlie himself only looked slightly upset Amestra was a complete wreck. Charlie tried to touch her in order to calm her down but looked sick at the thought. He turned to Matteusz.

“Could you…? I can’t.”

“Will it hurt you?”

“No. Not if I… I want you to. You won’t hurt us.”

Matteusz nodded and picked Amestra up as gently as he could. She responded by crawling over him in order to get to the best position so that he could hug her tightly. Her fur was warm, and he could feel it radiate within him. It made him feel at peace. Charlie was trembling. Matteusz shifted Amestra so that she was resting in one arm and touched Charlie’s arm with his free hand. That just made Charlie shake even more.

“He’s okay,” said a voice. It was soft and pleasant. Matteusz looked down and was greeted with Amestra blinking up at him. She and Charlie had the same blue eyes. “It’s just a very strong feeling.”

They went to bed early, which was not surprising considering the intensity of the day. Amestra was still curled around him. Between her and Charlie, Matteusz was certain he would not be able to sleep because of the two furnaces pressed against him. Instead he found himself falling into the deepest sleep he had in ages. When he woke, Charlie managed to sleep even longer, and that just never happened. Amestra was smiling up at him. 

“We care about you very much,” she said quietly. Matteusz smiled at her.

“I care about you very much, also.”

\---

After the incident with the rock, Matteusz found that he just needed to breathe. Somewhere where he would not see Charlie, see him bleeding and responding to torture by asking for more. See him confess to wanting to commit genocide, see him accept the name of murderer. So instead Matteusz walked away. Not permanently- he knew it would not be permanently. That it never could be permanently. But when Charlie suggested that they take some time apart, even though Matteusz knew Charlie did not really want them to be apart, he accepted it more than gladly.

He just did not expect it to hurt as much when, as he was leaving, he saw Amestra looking down at him from Charlie’s window. On her face there was a brand new scar.

\---

He did not understand why, considering Corakinus was quite possibly the definition of evil, Matteusz had reacted so badly when he saw him touch Amestra. Though touch was not the right word. He had grabbed her like someone was grab mud and dug his nails into her flesh. She shrieked in pain and thrashed against his grip, while Charlie collapsed to the ground screaming and grabbing his chest. Black seeped throughout her body from where Corakinus was holding her. Black veins spreading across her body while she sobbed and tried to get away. Corakinus just threw her against the wall when he was done, declaring one final threat before vanishing again. Matteusz ran to gather Amestra in his arms, before trying to hand her back to Charlie. Charlie shook his head, unable to even look at her. She was infected with shadow, similar in a way to how April had been. 

Charlie leaned against the wall, trying to hold himself up while also retreating as far from Amestra as possible. Amestra blinked slowly and did not even try to hide the tears falling from her eyes. Matteusz held her wounded and shaking body closer to him and wondered how someone could reject their own soul. How it must feel to see every damaged piece of you reflected an actual physical form. Matteusz held Amestra tightly in one arm, and with the other helped Charlie to his feet. Ram was yelling, because everyone was suffering right now. Amestra tried to hide from the conflict. Matteusz had never realised how much Charlie must hate arguments before.

“We need to get to the school,” Charlie said to Matteusz. “We have to try everything we can.”

Matteusz had not expected ‘trying everything we can’ to involve quite so much shooting of bookshelves, but it was at least effective. So after the disastrous nature of the day so far, the wait for the headmistress was a welcome reprieve. Adrenaline was pumping through Matteusz, especially because he had been promised that this day would be his last. This day may be the last for everyone on the planet. And no one seemed to notice. He hoped that at least they were having a good day.

“May I have her, please?” Charlie asked quietly. Matteusz nodded and gently held Amestra out to Charlie. Charlie took her and stroked her fur. “She looks horrid, doesn’t she? And she’s going to get worse. Everything I do makes her worse.”

“She is still beautiful,” Matteusz said. He was not sure how to communicate to Charlie just how beautiful Matteusz thought Amestra was, but he knew that it would not matter anyway. Charlie hated his soul. Therefore, he had to hate Amestra. Matteusz knew how painful it must have been for her, considering the stories she had told him about how close she and Charlie had once been. Now she was rejected by her dearest friend because she represented everything that was wrong with him. It did not matter what Matteusz said- he doubted that Charlie would ever again find her beautiful.

“She doesn’t want to do it, you know. Kill the Shadow Kin. So I guess you can find that comforting.” If Amestra did not want to do it, then that meant Charlie did not want to do it. Which meant that Charlie was not as much of a monster as he thought he was. But Charlie did not seem to find that to be a positive thing. Matteusz should have realised sooner how much Charlie seemed to actively resent her. “I do what I have to do. A Prince cannot have a weak soul. Therefore I must reject her.”

“Amestra is you, Charlie,” Matteusz tried to reassure him. Charlie just shook his head.

“I am stronger than her. I have to be stronger than her.”

“But you love her.”

Charlie just smiled sadly. “Love means very little, I’m afraid.”

\---

April was dead. April was dead, because Charlie had shot her. The blue light of Quill’s gun lit up the auditorium, and April and Corakinus both fell to the floor. Matteusz was screaming, and so was Ram. Tanya seemed to be in shock. Charlie just stood there and watched April fall. Matteusz felt blood on his shirt and looked down. Amestra was giving laboured breaths, gazing at nothing with sightless, bleeding eyes. She had turned pitch black. Her flesh surrounding her scars had begun to rot. Charlie was now King of the Shadow Kin, and he may as well have been dead. 

“You will die too,” Matteusz croaked when Charlie announced his plan. Charlie looked down at Amestra lying in Matteusz’s arms. He reached out to touch her, but she jerked away from him. Charlie had rejected her, and now she was rejecting him.

“I have already died, a moment ago,” Charlie replied. “I love you. And I’ve lost you. Goodbye.”

Matteusz followed Charlie to the cabinet because it was all he could do. Because he could hear Amestra crying softly. It seemed it was the only thing left for her to do. 

“Don’t do this. I know you don’t want to do this. There has to be another way. Charlie, _please_.” But he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t stop Charlie from declaring his intent, from murdering at least three billion people. The golden animals were beautiful as they raced through the air, and he felt Amestra’s ears perk up as she watched the last remnants of her friends and family flying from the cabinet. He heard the softest of whimpers come from the creature in his arms.

“They’re happy. Why are they all so happy?” 

Charlie was screaming, and so was Amestra, but it sounded merely like lost voices in the wind as the souls rushed passed them. There was so much noise, and at the same time there was nothing. It sounded like death but felt like silence. The force of Charlie actively destroying the crack leading to the Shadow Realm forced them all to the ground. Matteusz forced himself to sit up. He brought out Amestra to check on her, and- there may as well have been nothing left. She was just a mess of mangled flesh and bone. He could see her exposed heart beating in her ribcage. 

There was one soul left. One soul left to take Charlie’s. Matteusz held Amestra tighter, as if he could protect her and Charlie. As if he could take her inside of himself and keep Charlie from anymore harm. They were too vulnerable. They were about to die. Charlie looked at his executioner and _smiled_ , and closed his eyes with the same look of peace that he had worn the first time the three of them had gone to sleep holding each other.

“We love you,” Amestra whispered. He could not hear her with his ears, and he doubted that she had a tongue left to speak with. But still he heard those words, and he heard Charlie saying them and knew that neither of them had said those words enough. The soul shot forward, and Matteusz felt Amestra go limp in his arms. They were gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are welcome :)


End file.
